Insomnia

I am an insomniac
Can you imagine that?
I become tired at the drop of a hat
And yet I find no rest.

At night even though I'm sleepy
I go like the energizer bunny.
The dark is both scary and creepy,
And so I find no rest.

I wish to sleep I really do
But instead I write to you.
If I must I'll close my eyes with glue
And then I'll find some rest.

Fear

These things are ripping my heart to shreds
I can do absolutely nothing to help
I find I am powerless as many others have said
I never knew the sadness I have recently felt.

I heard the word Cancer and my heart turned cold
Everyone knows that fear
How has this been unforetold?
How can I hold to what is dear?

With every week the prognosis seems worse
I find I weep in silence
I wish upon this thing a horrible curse
But its mystery is impenetrably dense.

I've only now begun to know her
Is it possible she'll be taken from me?
Everything once clear is now obscure
I pray on bended knee.

What will happen if she dies?
Could I ever understand it?
If she were gone could we all survive?
Dark creeps in where once her light was brightly lit.

Questions

What are we meant for?
What is our purpose here?
What shall we do until we know?
What is my destiny away from this darkness?

When all light is gone from us
When darkness blocks our vision
When the world tilts in crazy turns
When I fall from my pillar on high.

Who then shall light our darkness?
Who can turn the tide in our favor?
Who will bring back the tarnished beauty?
Who would withstand my test?

Why do we shun what we wish for?
Why secretly hide in the darkness?
Why force our hands to be still at our sides?
Why can't I grasp my happiness?

Where have we lost our souls?
Where do our hearts lie shattered?
Where can their pieces be restored?
Where am I in this darkness?

Musicability

The sound wells inside
Begging to be let out
I open my mouth so wide
But from it comes no shout.
No what pours out is beautiful
My souls offering flowing free.
It is singing in every way musical
That pours out from inside of me.

This song is my life force,
My strength and durability.
When all is lost and I am too,
My song will lead me home.
But if for any reason or thing
My song is cut away,
I'll die, surely as comes the spring,
Let go without delay.

A gift from Artemis' quiver,
Chords of gold
And notes of silver
Might I dream so bold?
In the hour of star and moonbeam
Might I find them there?
In the laughing bubbling frothing stream,
Or in Hades burning lair.

Oh, Athena Goddess of wisdom and war,
Quell this pain within me!
If I am not meant to sing to this world
Give me freedoms long sought key!
I'll break myself out but give no shout,
No, I'll sing, and sing, and sing.
Till the great ones on Mt. Olympus are left no doubt
And from their lofty heights, blessings upon me fling!

Confusion

So many questions bobbing in my head
Spinning endlessly through my mind
They keep me awake instead of in bed
Are all people troubled by things of this kind?

I am in one place and he in another
I am here, and another one is elsewhere
But there is one here who belongs to some other
For each and all I've come to care.

What seemed so simple has become complex
The ending has infinte possibilities
I'm not forced under any duress,
I sit and stare in incredulity.

How am I to know what to do?
I can't tell where to go from here
It's impossible to start from scratch and renew
Without the aid of an all knowing seer.

Some people say

Some people say everything happens for a reason
I suppose this might be true
But then why when everything's said and done
Are there still things that I rue?

Some people say trials are for you own good
I suppose they might be right
But then why when I thought I understood,
I find someones turned out the light?

Some people say distance makes the heart grow fonder
I suppose for some this might work
But then why does distance make me ponder
Why I wish it weren't?

Evanescence

Why so lonely, sad yet proud?
Why cannot some grace be found?
Who will wipe her teary eyes?
Who can tell before she dies?

Why so silent in your pain?
Why do others show distain?
Who could ever think her rude?
Who ever saw her sit and brude?

Why at night so dark and still?
Why does death creep over the windowsill?
Who will be with her in the end to stand?
Who will wait the comming of deaths hand?

Why for one who alone is beauty?
Why so silently do her duty?
Who could bear to see here there?
Who can stop her? for none must dare.