My Soul Sings

Why do any of us write poetry?
Is it an expression of joy? of Grief?
Why do I write poetry?
Is it an expression of inner belief?

In the year since I've last written
I've experienced both extremes
Felt grief and joy and so much more
Emotions explode my seams.

I'm looking towards my future.
Deciding what I want from life.
Is it the stage, the lights, the music
Or to be a more normal kind of wife?

I think no matter which I choose,
Music will always be
What keeps me sane in a busy world
An essential part of me.

Is this why I write poetry?
To express what's on my mind?
To show what's in my heat?
To ensure my soul's not blind?

Yes, I think it is so.
This is from where it springs
This is why I write poetry
So my soul, once again, it sings.

A Dr. Seuss Christmas!

Falling, glittering snowy white
Blankets the world with beauty bright
Creating a peaceful quiet sight.

The fake tree that will never die
Over the stacks of presents Presides
Wrapped and piled oh, so high.

Then through the door with a crash
Cousins, Aunts, and Uncles dash
Adding their gifts to the enormous stash.

Merry Christmases, hellos, and hardy hugs
Fly about like so many bugs
And cider is passed out in Christmas mugs.

Dinner of stuffing and gravy is served
The light hearted mood by laughter preserved
As Christmas traditions are once more observed.

Then dessert of pumpkin pie
Is offered out in the wink of an eye
And greeted with an appreciative sigh.

And now to all it must be shown
How in our music we have grown
Before adults to presents condone.

The kids perform with skill and style
No one can resist a smile
Though the program sure does take a while.

Then finally they give the word
And though it may seem quite absurd
My memory seems to be somewhat blurred.

Where piles of gifts once lay wrapped
Lies paper in shredded torn up scraps
And somehow presents are in our laps.

Then off to bed with the younger ones
All cousins, daughters and yes, the sons
It's time to make the sticky buns.

For in the morning all too soon
Though I won't be up till well past noon
Breakfast must not be eaten, with a spoon!

What does my heart say?

Poised upon the edge
Of what I do not know.
Still learning how to stand
After a lethal blow.

While I am truly happy
I feel a hole inside
Something of me is missing.
Something doesn't coincide.

I need a certain something
But how am I to get this
When I know not what it is
Nor even what I miss?

Is there a hidden way
That I might soon discover
What part of me is empty
It's secret to uncover?

Is there something crying
From deep down inside
That knows all about me
When my intellect is blind?

I think that just perhaps
My heart might maybe may
See things my eyes cannot
Could I learn what it might say?

Live!

Look up,
Lift up your eyes and see.
There's a big world out there,
Big enough to fly free.

Look up,
Lift your head.
You can run and smile and laugh,
Your feet are no longer made of lead.

Look up,
At the beauty around you!
All of nature is singing,
And the sky is oh so blue!

Look up,
Feel the sunshine on your face
It's warmth upon your back,
As you dance through time and space.

Look up,
At the Mountains
Shrouded in wispy wonder
As raindrops fall in fountains.

Look up,
At the stars
Wheeling through the night
Burning away your ugly scars.

Look up,
And Live!

Sing Me to Heaven

I didn't actually compose this one. Jane Griner did, and Daniel E. Gawthrop set it for choir. We're singing it in I Cantori right now, and it's so beautiful that I had to put it up.

In my Heart's sequestered chambers
Lie truths stripped of poet's gloss.
Words alone are vain and vacant
And my heart is mute.

In response to aching silence
Memory summons half-heard voices,
And my soul finds primal eloquence
And wraps me in song.

If you would comfort me,
Sing me a lullaby.
If you would win my heart,
Sing me a love song.
If you would mourn me
And bring me to God,
Sing me a requiem,
Sing me to heaven.

Touch in me
All love and passion,
Pain and pleasure.
Touch in me
Grief and comfort;
Love and passion,
Pain and pleasure.

Sing me a lullaby,
A love song,
A requiem.

Love me,
Comfort me,
Bring me to God.

Sing me a love song,
Sing me to heaven.

Boston in the Fall

This one has been forming in my head since I went home for break a couple of weeks ago. It's still a work in progress, but it deserved to be written.

This morning on my window
An icy work of art
Jacks frosty calling card
Yet by the sun unmarred.

There's a crispness in the air
As I leave the house this morning
There is ice upon the lake
As only cold can make.

The leaves upon the trees
A burgeoning raging fire
Orange, Yellow, flaming red
Beautiful though almost dead.

I love this time of year
When Boston's at its best
The frost, the leaves, the wintry chill
Fall gives my soul a happy thrill.

Now I'm back at school in southern Tennessee.
Yet deep within this warm and sunny place
I still hear the forests burning call,
And wish I were in Boston, in the Fall.

Is There Still Love?

On their first day of school
Two children met
A meeting she will never forget
The beginning.

In a little red play house
Two children were "married"
A memory she has always carried
Child's love.

A huge shiny ring
With a bright blue stone
Now you'll never be alone.
A child's promise.

A wooden race car
A stolen kiss
One summer of purest bliss.
Gone.

The years drift by
Some go others stay
To themselves they say
Do they think of me?

Another summer
A dance on a hill
Darkness not the cause of her thrill.
Goodbye.

A proclamation of love
Met with another
Why so far away from each other?
Unfulfilled.

Crushed by fate
Two young adults
Tired of endless somersaults
Return.

A young woman
With a promise ready
A young man calm and steady.
Is there still love?

Life Music

The strands that form my life
Tangle and mesh together,
Like many floating melodies
Combined into polyphony.

Sometimes in discordant strife
My beings inner weather
My souls song accompanies;
Modulating, becoming atonality.

The music is full of joy
Yet somehow melancholy.
Soaring in its crescendo,
Yet crying in its beauty.

And through some tricky ploy,
Some long forgotten folly,
The musics decrescendo
Comes from others cruelty.

Eyes I thought I had forgotten

Dusk descends on the world
Shadows collect in the corners
The night is coming on
The streets are filled with mourners.

Nobody told me about this
How me it would dishearten
Things unbidden come to mind.
Eyes I thought I had forgotten.

How can he still make me cry
When he is so very far away?
Why can't I just let him go?
Why are my feelings on display?

He made his choice
And whatever his reason
Against my heart
He meant no treason.

Yet every time I think
That I am over him
The feelings all come flooding back
Refusing to become dim.

Each day is touch and go.
Some happy and some not.
I try to forget him in every way.
But find that I cannot.

Trying, Breaking, Fighting, Healing.

Trying
to be just a friend
Finding
it's not so bad
Finding
it's absolutely terrible
Trying
And failing.

Breaking
What little my heart can mend
Finding
I still love that tall blond lad
Finding
that love unbearable
Breaking
mind unveiling.

Knowing
I've no right to love
Unable
To make it stop
Unable
to forget
Knowing
and powerless.

Fighting
Rationality and her shove
Unable
to make the swap
Unable
to sing solo from duet
Fighting
the sense of the aimless.

Wanting
to be rational
Thinking
I haven't got the right
Thinking
I shouldn't feel this way
Wanting
to move on.

Understanding
this is transitional
Thinking
that night after night
Thinking
that day after day
Understanding
that he is gone.

Learning
from this trial
Living
joy and sorrow combined
Living
with other kinds of help
Learning
to be happy.

Healing
finding I can smile
Living
in a world full of sunshine
Living
for myself
Healing
I am happy.

My Song

Darkness tarnishes
The brightness of my song
As me it slowly banishes
From where I now belong.

No one said I'd be lonely
By my friends surrounded
But I've lost my one and only
My song has been confounded.

Is there nothing I can do?
Will my song now shadowed be.
My defenses toppled by this coup
A rubble for the world to see.

Now black night descends
And my song becomes an agony
As darkness with my music blends
I know that I am staggering.

But night is darkest before the dawn
And surly that is soon
And so my song will struggle on
As disappears the moon.

Done Trying. No More Searching.

I finally have my answer
Though it's not what I wished for.
Does it really matter?
He gently closed that door.

Is it really possible,
That this is for the best?
Though it may well be
It gives my heart no rest.

I'll admit that I've been hurt,
But not because he lied.
And though it is in secret,
My eyes show how I've cried.

No, he didn't lie
He always told the truth
Any brokenness is my fault
I could not be aloof.

I feel towards him no anger
As some may think I should
For I've searched within my soul
And found I never could

So now I must move on
But hear me when I say;
There will be no more searching
I stopped trying on this day.

Gloria!

I dream of many things
Of pretty summer dresses
Of bright sunshiny days
And gentle loving caresses

Like every young woman
I have girlish dreams
Of starlit walks and romance
But there’s more than may be seen.

I have visions of flying
Throughout the galaxies
With powerfully beating wings
Surely not mere fantasies?

But that isn’t all
Not enough my feathered wings
To open up my heart
And with the Angels sing.

Yes, to raise my voice on high
With the glittering angelic host
To sing Holy, holy, holy,
This I wish for most.

To feel that joy within
Pour out as I am winging
Across the starry skies
And with the Angels singing!

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

As children
Our minds are captivated
By childish happiness
And carefree foolishness

But soon things become different
Become more complicated
Before we realize or know
We begin to change and grow

The toys the sand castles the games
That once fulfilled our dreams
Are no longer what we adore
We reach and grasp for more

By knowledge’s seductive flames
We're reduced to raving fiends
We build machines of terror
Not sandy castles fairer.

Why this need for destruction?
Why can’t we live and love?
How have we become so twisted?
Surely know one really wished it?

In dire need of instruction
We cry out to our God
Why do our souls fade?
Truly, we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

From My Sanctum

Tentatively I peek around
The puffy floating white
Leave the safety of my clouds
To see what lies beyond.

For many months I’ve dreamed
Of places new and fair
So far off they have seemed
But closer they appear.

I will leave my wispy sanctum
My loft among the clouds
And so employ my stratagem
And wish with all I am.

What is it I wish to dare?
To clothe myself in moonbeams
And hang starlight in my hair
This is life worth living.

This I solemnly do vow
To live like there is no tomorrow
To be only in the now
And claim my souls freedom!

Sunrise Symphony

Pale fingers of light
Pierce the velvet sky
The strings begin to tune
All is quiet in a sigh.

A pinkening on the horizion
The conductor lifts his hands
A lightening of the air
The awe sunrise commands.

And then we see a glimmer
Along the far off mountains
The cellos start to play
Cascading notes in fountains.

As the sun climbs higher
A crescendo of light and sound
Rises to meet the morning
In its brilliance we are drowned.

Shades of purple, pink, and gold
Fling themselves across our vision
The Symphony crashes over us
Each color and note with precision.

As we watch the colors fade
Our hearts begin to quiver
The sun has risen and climbs the heavens
The music now is over.

Awakening

The sun shines brightly
But cannot pierce
Through the blinds
I wake in my darkened room.

I wake mystified
from a dream filled sleep
And ponder what
I shall do and say.

The mornings song so sprightly
And yet strangely fierce
Sings its designs
Its will to consume.

In this morn is typified
I'm pulled from dreams of the deep
And with one slashing cut
Thrown into the world of the day.

My Daddy

I didn't actually write this one. My Papa found it somewhere and gave it to me. It's just so cute and fitting, that I had to put it up! This one goes out to all those girls who's daddies are doctors...

When Daddy signs his name
He always writes M.D.
That's so the people all will know
That he belongs to me.

For M.D. means "My Daddy"
Or something just the same
And this is why he always puts
Those letters on his name.

Some letters in his name are small
But these are not, you see,
He always makes them big like that
Because he's proud of me.

Laughter

What is it about laughter
That makes others smile?
It makes my heart beat faster
I'm as carefree as a child.

I laugh in arpeggiations
Traveling up and down
In musical ministrations
My laughter has its sound.

There is something about a smile
In the depths of someones eyes
Through every form of trial
A smile that never dies.

Oh, to live and laugh
To be happy all the day
To continue in this craft
I dearly wish I may.

This is What I Miss

Why these lonely feelings
Just as I come home
Why these empty dealings
Why am I alone?

What is it I lack?
Blessed with so many things
Why has my world turned black,
Where have I lost my wings?

Vainly I search for meaning
Isn't home what I longed for?
But love from me is streaming
And now I wish for more.

I want to see my friends
They're my family as well
Painfully I feel their absence
In their light I wish to dwell.

Yes, this is what I miss
The closeness and the sharing
Of tragedy and bliss
And each others troubles bearing.